College Football Week 7

Article Highlights:

-I hit a 6 team teaser
-A Frenchman wants to break Tebow’s leg
-The Big XII quarterbacks are the cat’s pajamas
-Tennessee is still bad.

http://lovewithoutnagel.wordpress.com/2008/10/09/college-football-week-7-2/

Buckeye Fans, you might wanna vote for Obama …

Or else this could happen.

Our sources on the campaign trail are giving us dire OSU futures in a McCain administration. Just watch.

Speaking English is rather more polite than Joe Kinnear

That's right, you, right there, are a C*nt

You, right there in front, you’re a C**t

Andrew, Wes, and Karl review last week’s premiership action.

Speaking English 10.6.08

For your listening pleasure, two versions of Joe Kinnear’s explicit tirade.  Needless to say, “earmuffs.”

Here’s the real recording

And here’s something fun for the kids:

Pete Rose does not approve, Senator McCain.

Imagine our shock today when we realized John Dowd, the man whose devastating “Dowd Report” sealed Reds’ legend Pete Rose’s lifetime ban from baseball for gambling (note: We realize Pete bet; we’re not THAT blind … we just never like Dowd’s arrogance), represented Senator John McCain at the Keating Five hearings.

And we nearly crap our pants.

So, we put the political arm of The Meaningful Collateral to work for the Cincinnati Reds fans. Here you go.

Photoshop rocks … especially with the Cubs.

The above picture from our friends at eTrueSports.com, who seem to be Cubs fans but at least have a sense of humor (at evidenced by this definition):

Chicago Cubs (noun) – 1. a former baseball team. 2. (informal) loveable losers. 3. a group of men destined not to succeed.

Gave us a chuckle. Don’t worry guys - the Bengals are about to be demoted to the CFL. You’ll have the last laugh.

University of Cincinnati wants you to buy 97 games just to see Bob Huggins.

Remember when Cincinnat basketball could pretty much sell itself on the program Bob Huggins built? Guess what - even when he’s gone, it can do the same thing.

We noticed this in Monday’s edition of The Cincinnati Enquirer:

The ad calls for seven games at a total of $172. The first game on the list? West Virginia coach Bob Huggins’ big return to Cincinnati. But read the fine print further for what else you have to buy:

Yep, six more games, against powerhouses like Coastal Carolina, Western Illinois, Arkansas Pine-Bluff, Eastern Kentucky, Charleston Southern, and South Dakota.

True, as the UC program rebuilds, there’s no reason I’d want to pay money to see any of them (save WVU). But it’s amazing to see the pull Huggins still has on this program and city.

NBA Preview: Northwest Division

So, it is time to move to the Western Conference, the more interesting of the two conferences, arguably.  We are going to make our start with the Northwest Division, which could be a toss up.  From top to bottom, this has to be the worst division in the West.  With the Jazz at the top of the division, it is hard to say the division boasts much championship potential for this coming season.  With the Northwest bashing out of the way, lets get started.

Denver Nuggets
I just don’t get the plan.  Maybe I’m just not as basketball savvy as I thought if the Nuggets end up winning it all.  The two guard with all the heart in professional sport, the baby-faced superstar still carving out his true position in the NBA, and a whole host of decent complimentary players to a terribly difficult million-piece jigsaw puzzle.  With the loss of Marcus Camby to the Clippers, the defensive integrity of the team is questionable.  Their inside play is skeptical to say the least.  I would like to see Carmelo Anthony play a similar position to what he did in the Olympics.  He will be a mismatch for anyone at the four spot.  He is strong enough to hit the glass, score inside, and prevent himself from being backed down on the other end of the floor.  It will be interesting to see if they plan on doing anything in the offseason to improve their big men, but who knows.  Then again, maybe Sonny Weems will be as good in the NBA as he is against IU.  I think it will be tough for the Nuggets to make the playoffs in a Western Conference that has been, and still is, pretty stacked.

Minnesota Timberwolves

30 wins.  That should be the mark the T-Wolves shoot for this season.  They are just so young and don’t have many positions adequately filled (meaning every position expect for Al Jefferson).  Mike Miller was a decent addition, along with Kevin Love, however, neither player is going to provide enough this season for the Wolves to go anywhere but the Lottery Draft again.  As a fan of the game, I would like to see Kevin Love and Corey Brewer shine in this league, but it might take a little time.  The T-Wolves will finish near the bottom of the West again.

Oklahoma City Thunder

New city.  New name.  Same results.  The Thunder have a former number one, two, four, and five pick on their current roster.  Potential is not the problem.  If this team ever develops into their potential, it could be interesting, but for now, let’s break 25 wins for a season.  Kevin Durant seems destined to be a star in the NBA, however, I would still like to see him gain a little weight and pick it up defensively.  Russell Westbrook could be a great addition to the team, judging by his high-energy play, and lets not forget about D.J. White and his intensity on the boards.  Despite this, the Thunder could very well end the season with the worst record in the league, but who knows.  Wherever they are, they won’t be in the playoffs.

Portland Trailblazers
The sky is truly the limit for the Blazers this coming season.  The “Jailblazers” of old are dead and gone.  Last season, I was hoping to see a push from them into the playoffs, but the West was just too strong down the stretch.  I’m just going to say it outright.  If the Blazers don’t make the playoffs and win a round, this will be a waste of a season.  They are stacked with athleticism and great basketball awareness at each position.  Somehow, they had the best offseason of any team.  They have two rookies who will contribute this season in Jerryd Bayless and Greg Oden.  I would have included Rudy Fernandez, but I just can’t consider anyone who dunks on Dwight Howard in the Olympics a rookie.  Fernandez is going to be one of the most exciting players to watch this season.  LeMarcus Aldridge proved he is one of the most promising young players and will continue to progress.  Oh, wait, we can’t forget about Brandon Roy, the team’s all-star.  The Blazers should make it to at least the second round of the playoffs with all the talent they have.

Utah Jazz
I’m wondering if the Jazz have fallen behind the curve.  Don’t get me wrong, they are a playoff team, but I’m just not sure they have what it takes to win it all.  They just seem to be missing one piece.  I understand they have outside shooting (Deron Williams, Kyle Korver, Mehmet Okur, etc.), and I can see they can score inside with Carlos Boozer, along with a strong defensive mindset, but it just seems like they are missing a true slashing player on that roster; one who can get to the basket.  I’m sure Jazz fans would love for that to be Ronnie Brewer, but I just don’t know about that.  Overall, the Jazz are a pretty good team and I’m sure they’ll end up in the middle of the Western Conference playoff pack; not the bottom, not the top.

Projected Standings
1.    Utah Jazz
2.    Portland Trailblazers
3.    Denver Nuggets
4.    Minnesota Timberwolves
5.    Oklahoma City Thunder

Kimbo… Sliced

Goes Down Smooth

So for those of you who follow hot, sweaty, man-on-man action… erm… MMA, this weekend’s EliteXC Supercard featured the destruction of internet phenomenon Kimbo Slice at the hands of Seth Petruzelli. Sure, the fight only lasted 14 seconds, but that was apparently more than enough time to crush the hopes and dreams of a 34 year old, 6 ft 2in 240lb man. Despite being a last minute replacement, Petruzelli was able to bring the – apparently travel size – pain and put a halt to Slice’s rise to fighting glory.

Slice was originally slated to face The World’s Most Dangerous Man (circa 1990 I guess) Ken Shamrock, a 44 year old MMA legend. Shamrock, a favorite of mine 15 years ago when I still watched professional wrestling, was unfortunately barred from competition when he received a cut over one eye in a pre-fight workout.

EliteXC initially thought to turn to Ken’s brother Frank (himself a semi-retired 34 year old) only to find the younger Shamrock was already scheduled to provide broadcast commentary for the fight. That left the door open for Petruzelli, a journeyman, who stepped up (or should it be horizontally) and spoiled everybody’s fun.

It’s hard to sympathize with Slice, a man propped up by hype and determined to make the most of his brief fame or with Shamrock, a fighter nearly 8 years retired despite the fact he shows up for work every couple of months.

Instead, I feel for the fans who tuned in to watch a 44 year old ex-pro wrestler throw down with Youtube’s finest brawler. Not because they missed out and had to settle for 14 seconds of Slice v Petruzelli, but because they are all idiots, sadists or both. Honestly, Slice v Shamrock on a Saturday night? Have some class, rent a Faces of Death video and listen to ICP (Juggalo!).

Slice himself provided closing remarks on the evening.

“You knocked me out in front of my family” Slice told Petruzelli in a post-fight press conference, “that’s fucked up.”

Watch your balls before you taunt.

What would we do without the CFL? The TD celebrations make us wish Ickey Woods was back in the NFL. First this, and now, this … you might want to think before you mock.

And get a cup. Watch the whole thing. Video gets good around :22.

Phillies crush the Jew love. We cry. A whole bunch.

Back in the day, the Montreal Expos seemed to play the song Hava Nagila a ton (for those who don’t know, its a Jewish folk song with a beat easily played on the organ. Sounds good. Trust us).

So imagine our surprise hearing the Milwaukee Brewers play the song over and over again during games three and four, and feel our pain watching them get aced out by Philly. Not just for the team, but their sorta-Jewish superstar …

Ryan Braun. Oh yeah, you heard us right, baby.

This one caught us off guard (and no, not in that Ray Lewis/Wikipedia way). Apparently Ryan’s father is Israeli-born Jewish while his mother is not (although its clear from this article he wasn’t really raised Jewish and his Mom really doesn’t like the reference … but we’ll ignore it to make ourselves feel better).

A bunch of fans have nicknamed Ryan “The Hebrew Hammer”, which Braun has embraced while emphasizing he’ll still play baseball on Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. In essence, he has Judaism in his blood, but doesn’t actively practice. Still, we don’t get many chances to have a slugger - can’t we just keep him? Please?

So, now that the Brew Crew (Jew crew? Ok, we’ll stop the jokes) is gone, who do we root for? Of course - the Dodgers. Don Mattingly is Jewish, right?

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