We’ll give Rafael Nadal credit: Not only does he do a fantastic Bob the Builder impression (and really, could you see Federer pulling off the hard hat look?), but he’s worked damn hard at perfecting his English, to the point where he’s pretty darn fluent. And he’s writing a blog for Wimbledon. Pretty heady stuff.

But this one made us laugh.

Here’s a Q&A from The London Times-Online. No, Rafa doesn’t screen the questions. And honestly, who doesn’t go to sleep at night asking the first question?

I wanted to ask you if you use body moisturiser on your gorgeous arms! They always look so good!
Claire, Wirral

Rafa: No, not really. Thanks for the compliment.

Do you watch Dr Who and, if so, who is your favourite Doctor?
Muhammad Hussan Syed

Rafa: Nope. Sorry.

I saw a guy who looks like you on the street and he had braids on his head. I think it will look very good on you.]What do you think about this idea of new hairstyle?
Sophie, France

Rafa: Not my style with all the respects to that guy you saw.

Let’s give it up for Rafa and how polite he is. Then again, who wouldn’t love the braided, muscle moisturizing Dr. Who fan Nadal?

There are some random-ass stories out there in the sports world right now. Rather than make a post for each, let’s just talk about them all in one.

— We’ll start in Lexington, Kentucky, where the Arrogant Blue Nation finally discovered that there are indeed limits to how many times you can pleasure yourself. ESPN reported today that the University of Kentucky basketball museum has closed due to a complete and utter lack of anyone wanting to visit it. Particularly enjoyable was this paragraph:

Consultants had told the original staff that the museum would bring in 130,000 visitors in its first year and average 110,000 visitors yearly thereafter, Florence said, according to the Courier-Journal. Instead, it drew 27,000 visitors in 1999 and averaged about 18,000 visitors yearly.

110,000 visitors a year??? From where, exactly? I won’t even make the obvious joke about most fans not wanting to go to the trouble of getting their car off of the blocks in their front yard.

More after the jump.

— The smart teams keep getting richer in the NHL, as the newly minted Stanley Cup champion Red Wings nabbed Marian Hossa on a one-year contract. Excellent pick-up by Detroit, although I have to wonder what Hossa is thinking in turning down an extended deal with another team. Yes, Detroit could very well win the Cup again next year, and I’m sure that was the major factor in taking just a one-year contract. But I’d think that a guy who’s already torn a ligament in his knee earlier in his career might be more interested in long-term security. Granted, $7.5 million will buy a lot of jeans in Slovakia, but still.

— Looks like the Aaron Rodgers era in Green Bay is off to a rip-roaring start already. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (or whatever the hell they call it) got an advance copy of the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, which features the new Packers starting QB. The money shot from the article is the following quote from Rodgers, who was asked if he felt pressured to connect with the fans in the wake of Greybeard retiring:

“I don’t feel I need to sell myself to the fans,” Rodgers responded. “They need to get on board now or keep their mouths shut.”

YES!!! I really really hate the Packers, but I like this Rodgers kid already. This obsessive cult of personality that grew up around Favre in Wisconsin was both frightening and stupid.

Of course, no one ever lets their words stand anymore, so Rodgers immediately backpedaled when the paper contacted him about the quote. Come on, Aaron! Stick to your guns on this one.

— TMC friend Sarah Trotto had an odd status update on her Facebook profile yesterday. I saw it, and wasn’t sure what to make of it: “What the hell is a testicular fracture?”

I didn’t quite grasp the significance until I saw the news today. Apparently, Diamondbacks catcher Chris Snyder suffered a testicular fracture yesterday, courtesy of a really poorly placed foul ball.

I’ll be sitting with my legs crossed for the rest of the day, thanks.

Incidentally, if you’re interested, here’s the lowdown on what we’ll just call “TF” from now on. I think Chris Snyder has safely captured the “worst sports injury of 2008″ award away from Kaz Matsui and his anal fissure.

Thus far, Wimbledon has been everything I’ve hoped for, and then some. The reemergence of Marat Safin as the athletic beast he is when he wants to be is great for Wimbledon. It wasn’t long ago that Safin had a tirade about how grass is for cows. Not only is Safin finally playing well for the first time in several years, but he rolled Djokovic, which has given him incredible confidence throughout the tournament. After he takes care of Feliciano Lopez, the meeting with Federer in the Semis will be under way. This is a guy who defeated Pete Sampras in the 2000 US Open. He will be up for the Federer match. Although, Federer and Nadal are both playing at the top of their grass court games, and look well on their way to another meeting in the finals, again. Some even think this is Nadal’s year. The other talk of the tourney has been Andy Murray finally showing up. He has had a storied tournament thus far, with his shot making ability at an incredible level. I feel sorry for anyone that didn’t see the last three sets of his match with Gasquet. Murray’s movement has just been phenomenal. He gets to everything, and if he threads one more running backhand down the line, he should be tested for some kind of drug. His match today against Nadal is not one to be missed.

Women’s Draw

Oh, I almost forgot, Justine Henin retired so it doesn’t really matter. Serena is on the verge of finishing a very uneventful Women’s Wimbledon. Sharapova, the early favorite, looked terrible in her routine-looking loss to Alla Kudryavtseva. She came out flat, and at a couple points in the match it sort of looked like she was going to make a surge, but she came up short, losing the second set 6-4. Dinara Safina, whom I hoped would be a perpetual major finalist, came up short as well to Shahar Peer who has more or less been a journey woman through her professional career. The WTA Tour is wide open as of right now. Nobody has emerged as the true top player. There is room for a star to be born, but I think for now and for some time to come, we can all just lament over Justine!

American Men

Why does Andy Roddick always have trouble against Janko Tipsarevic? At first, looking at Roddick’s draw and considering the fact that he didn’t play Roland Garros to prepare for the grass court season (he said he was hurt), he should have been set to make the Semis. James Blake was in the same section of the draw with just as easy a draw, but lost to Rainer Schuettler. Wimbledon couldn’t even spell this guy’s name right. In a recent publication they wrote in “Robert Schuettler”. This is a guy who was good for one season about four years ago. Blake proved again that he has mental toughness issues as he lost another tough five-set match, after being up two sets to one. The Americans had a terrible showing this year, with their best result coming from true journeyman, Bobby Reynolds. No good. We should have sent Justin Gimelstob just to stir the pot a little from the American side.

Predictions

Roger Federer v. Mario Ancic

Federer is just playing too strong for Ancic to have a real chance at this match. Although, Ancic is serving well, so expect there to be a few longer sets and even possibly have Ancic steal one, but probably not.

Score: Federer – 6-4, 7-5, 6-2

Marat Safin v. Feliciano Lopez

Safin is just playing too well right now to pick against him with a guy like Lopez. However, Safin isn’t going to make it easy on himself. Lopez is also serving out of his mind this Wimbledon, which might frustrate Marat.

Score: Safin – 3-6, 6-4, 6-4, 7-6 (6)

Rainer Schuettler v. Arnaud Clement

This battle of geriatric proportions should actually be a good one. Both players can see the finish (of their careers) along the horizon and both know this is one of their final chances to really stake a name amongst the top players in the game. Look for a long, hard-fought match, with the size of Schuettler being too much. I’ll be optimistic and say five sets.

Score: Schuettler – 6-4, 2-6, 7-5, 4-6, 8-6

Andy Murray v. Rafael Nadal

Wow. This is a match made in heaven right now. Murray is at the top of his game, with an entire country behind him. He has all the confidence in the world right now and has momentum on his side. Nadal is playing as well as he can on grass, so I think that Murray’s cute story will come to a close. As much as I like his intensity and shot making ability, the energy will be securely in the Nadal corner. I foresee Murray getting frustrated and losing in four sets. Nadal will prove to be too much.

Score: Nadal – 5-7, 6-3, 6-4, 6-1

— Indiana Basketball loses its last scholarship player. Hilarity will not ensue.

— Turkey is a country with a rich history of conquest, technological advancement, and really fugly soccer uniforms.

— Electoral Colleges!

— Solemnly reflecting on the anniversary of the death of The National. No, not the band. That would be an even greater tragedy.

— The Wang “jogging” incident.

— Cito Gaston finally gets off the dole.

— Previewing the Euro 2008 Semifinals.

— The Return of Melrose. It’s kinda like the Return of the King, except for taller people that say “aboot”.

— Serena, Venus, and the Jehova’s Witness non-political thing.

— Justin Gimelstob channels Gary McCord.

Story, who was formerly committed to USC, seems to have a rep as a good jump shooter, which is useful for any team whose roster currently consists of a walk-on and a former walk-on. However…

Okay, I’m puzzled. We’ve been pretty out-front in our support of the Crean regime at IU. He seems like the right kind of guy for the job, and his reputation coming out of Marquette was very good. But something about Malik Story doesn’t quite feel right. For instance, here’s a snippet of the Bloomington Herald-Times article on the kid (I’d link to the H-T, but they persist in this 19th Centuryesque model of requiring a subscription to read every fucking article on their site):

The California native averaged 13.0 points as a sophomore at Artesia High School and made a commitment to Southern California at the time. He averaged 14.7 points as a junior at Artesia, helping his prep team to a 66-3 record during that two-year run.

After transferring to Oak Hill (Va.) Academy for his senior season, Story played in just five games before an incident neither side is willing to divulge forced him to leave the team and school.

He transferred to Ribet Academy in Los Angeles, but was ineligible to play. Ultimately, Story chose Indiana over Oregon and Georgetown.

Uh…hold on a second there. We’ve got a kid who’s a decommit from a notoriously shady program, who got thrown out of Oak Hill (which is like getting thrown out of San Quentin for bad behavior, mind you), and then got recruited by one of the dirtiest college athletic programs around?

(I’m talking about Oregon, mind you.)

Maybe I’m reading too much into this, and maybe Malik Story is a fine, upstanding young guy who was caught in a web of prep-school intrigue. You know, kind of like how Eli Holman was just in the wrong place at the wrong time (and that he was just mad about the stock market that one time in Crean’s office).

But bear this in mind: Crean and company have quite a task ahead in trying to re-build this program in terms of basketball talent. In addition to the talent issue, one of the major issues with IU basketball the last 7 years, starting with the arrival of the Bracey Wright class, has been the culture of the team. It reached its nadir this past season, with everything from fights at Chicago parties to a complete lack of academic focus.

I’m perfectly willing to give Crean a chance to build the program his way, but given the fractured state of the program at this point, I think the Story signing is a bit of a cause for concern. I’d love to just not worry about it, but unfortunately the past 8 years have shown that you have to worry about everything going through Assembly Hall.

The term Indiana football hero is kind of like jumbo shrimp; oxymoron doesn’t begin to explain it. But former IU coach John Pont is definitely a legend. He died today at the age of 80.

Pont is the only IU coach to reach the Rose Bowl (yes, the ONLY one). His 1967 Hoosier squad went 9-2, tied for the Big Ten title, was ranked as high as #4 by the Associated Press, and made it to Pasadena, losing 14-3 to an OJ Simpson-led USC squad. Winning at football in Bloomington is damn tough, and the nation recognized that: He was named national coach of the year that season.

His 8-season record at IU isn’t sparkling - just 31-51-1 - but anyone that’s watched Indiana football knows what he did in ‘67 is nothing short of spectacular (and because of it Pont is a member of the IU hall of fame).

Before he coached Indiana, his work at Miami of Ohio placed him in what’s known as “The Cradle of Coaches”, joining leaders who succeeded in Oxford like Woody Hayes, Bo Schembechler, Paul Brown, Sid Gillman, Bill Arnsparger, Bill Mallory, Jim Tressel, Terry Hoeppner, Sean Payton and John Harbaugh.

Pont will be buried Monday, July 7th. No reason has been given for his death.

Here’s a tip pal: Do your job. If they spray you with champagne, laugh it off, and conduct the interviews. They won because of their hard work on and off the field. You got a press pass because someone sent an email or fax.

Surely you were glued to the tv/internet waiting for Jelena Jankovic’s Monday match at Wimbledon.

What? You weren’t? Seriously? You have no clue who she is? You were waxing your legs instead?

Umm … that’s a tad weird. But I digress. And so will you … I think.

Apparently Jelena thinks the world is watching her. Yes, she’s number two (though the women’s rankings, with the best player in the world, Justine Henin, now retired, are in major flux), but she’s never even made the finals of a grand slam. So, on a day when all the remaining men and women played, Jelena got pushed to court 18. And she got PISS-EE.

“They might as well have put me on Court 38,” Jankovic said. “I was almost playing in the parking lot. I almost need a helicopter to go to my court”.

And then she proved why she deserved a show court, winning just five games in a blowout loss to 60th-ranked Tamarine Tanusugarn. Keep in mind her comments came AFTER her loss.

Jelena, do you know Rafael Palmeiro? More on her foot-in-mouth disease after the jump.

Jankovic probably thinks her ranking gives her preference. Well, JJ, you probably need to do something before going all cranky butt on the Wimbledon court selection crew.

While Jankovic has made the last two grand-slam semifinals (and four in her career) she’s never made a final, and in two of the four semifinals she got blasted. Her argument for a better court might be more valid if not for the fact Monday is traditionally Wimbledon’s busiest day: All 16 remaining men and women play, leaving six courts to share the big matches. The celeb nams get preference: Safin, Federer, Venus, Serena, Nadal, etc.

Centre Court, Courts one and two hosted nine singles matches. Wanna guess how many combined grand slam titles were in that group?

Thirty-four. And that doesn’t count the Williams’ sisters’ doubles titles (they played the final match on Court two).

Suddenly your donut doesn’t look as tasty, Jelena. Perhaps if it was glazed.

You could make an argument her match should’ve replaced the Nicole Vaidisova/Anna Chatvetadze match on Court One. Perhaps you could argue the Wimbledon court selection committee should have been kinder to Jankovic, who asked for a later time to rest her bum knee.

You know what? Didn’t happen. So what should you do? Win against a player 58 slots below you in the rankings. Shut the critics up. Winning five games and then complaining you’re not showcased enough is like Pacman Jones not understanding why the Pope won’t meet with him.

Silliness.

Above all else, name me one person that came to Wimbledon wanting to see Jelena Jankovic? Anyone that says yes is likely either A) Serbian, B) A rare Jankovic diehard fan or C) Jelena’s family member.

Court 18 was not necessarily the assignment of death Jelena liked to make it out to be: Marcos Baghdatis (who, unlike Jelena, actually made a grand slam final) followed her against talented Spaniard Feliciano Lopez, and the most popular men’s doubles team in the world, the Bryan brothers, played match three.

Somehow none of them needed a helicopter to Court 18.

Serena Williams complained about her court two assignment (as well as Venus’s). Perhaps it was whining, but perhaps the court decision was a tad suspect since, well, the Williams’ sisters are the best damn thing on the women’s tour. And Serena can get away with that, Jelena: She’s got eight grand slam singles titles. You know what else? She won comfortably. As did Venus. And they came back a few hours later, same court, and won a doubles match.

It’s all pretty simple.

Complaining is not an awful thing - we all do it from time to time. But backing it up helps. And if Jelena keeps putting up grand slam clunkers like this, perhaps Wimbledon will take Jankovic’s advice and form a parking lot court just for her.

Elsewhere, we had…um…tennis, I guess. We’ve got some big tennis fans on staff here, and I’ve tried like hell to get into the sport, but it’s just not happening for me. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.

Anyway, some links for you today:

— This is a year old, but in case you missed it last summer, here are the instructions for blocking the obnoxious ESPN video that switches on every time you visit ESPN.com. (Hello World/En-Dash)

— Soccer in Europe…more popular than porn. Yes, we Americans can laugh about this. But I give the Euros credit…in some cases they’ve been able to combine the two. (Euro2008Girls…NSFW)

— This isn’t sports, I know, but it transcends all boundaries. Microsoft announced that they’re no longer going to be selling Windows XP starting tomorrow. Looks like it may be time for a Mac. (Some TV Station)

— The Spanish celebration was remarkably subdued. (The Big Lead)

— James Mirtle is not impressed with this year’s NHL free agent class. (James Mirtle)

— Meanwhile, these guys aren’t impressed with NHL front office movement. Period. (Out of Left Field)

— Penn State fans are nervous about the lack of offensive skill players. Oh, and Jay Paterno plays bocce. Interesting. (Run Up The Score)

— A post-draft preseason college basketball top 25. (March Madness All Season)