Having undermined a succession of managers, driven their (admittedly incompetent) owner to try and sell the club to a bunch of Nigerians (someone really should have warned him about those e-mails), and seen their players flounder on the pitch, you’d think that things couldn’t get much worse right now at Newcastle.

You’d be wrong. Today, interim Newcastle manager Joe Kinnear, fed up with being lambasted in the media since his installation last week, went on a profanity-laced tirade at his first press conference. As just a hint of the insanity, here are the first words out of his mouth:

Joe Kinnear: Which one is Simon Bird (from The Daily Mirror)?

SB: Me.

JK: You’re a c**t.

SB: Thank you.

The rest of the meltdown