Congrats to J.B. Holmes, now a member of the Ryder Cup team. The key to his success? Incredibly long drives, a good short game, and a name change that saved him from endless jokes.

JB Holmes used to John Holmes. Yes, the same name as the guy with the 15-inch penis.

“I didn’t know who the porn star John Holmes was, but I figured it out quick when I was playing high-school golf,”  Holmes said. “I got tired of all the stuff – I heard it my whole life”

“My agent had a friend who’s good friends with [the television commentator] Gary McCord, so he set it up for me to play with him. “On the eighth hole he said: ‘I’m just going to call you J B.’ Fortunately, it stuck.”

JB changed his name after his stellar career at the University of Kentucky, but after 22 years, folks got used one name. A lot of people from his hometown of Campbellsville, Kentucky, didn’t realize the guy they nicknamed “Long John” (you’re allowed to laugh. Now stop) when they saw him winning on the PGA Tour. Now he’ll get to play in front of them (the Ryder Cup is being played in Louisville, and likely be the only player to hear this:

“Nice drive buddy! Must be tough with a 15-inch penis!”.