I know I had some bad things to say about Bob Neumeier’s sideline antics late last week, but those complaints are really small potatoes compared to some of the other “talent” that NBC has forced upon us over these last few weeks. While folks like Tim Daggett, Mary Carillo, and that annoying biatch who does the MSNBC updates with Tiki Barber have ranked up there in terms of white-hot annoyance, the absolute worst has been Cynthia Potter.

Who is Cynthia Potter, you ask? Well, she’s the harsh-voiced color commentator for diving, that’s who. There isn’t much photographic evidence of her existence on the Internets, so you’ll have to suffice with that small picture that I shamelessly stole from a major college web site.

Anyway, Cynthia has really set herself apart from the other annoying commentators throughout the course of these Olympics. Whereas Rowdy Gaines is simply obnoxious, and Elfie Schlagel and Tim Daggett don’t seem to realize they’re on television, Cynthia just manages to be annoying through sheer force of personality. Yes, her analysis of scores is normally spot-on. Yes, she obviously gained a great deal of knowledge of diving during her heroic single-bronze-medal career as an Olympian.

But unfortunately, Cynthia’s general vocal stylings (very, very Houston in nature), coupled with her know-it-all attitude, combine to make her virtually unlistenable to all but the most dedicated diving sycophants. This wouldn’t be a bad thing by itself. But unfortunately, after gymnastics, swimming, and beach volleyball, NBC decided that the American people were most interested in watching diving. Whoever thought this should be fired immediately sentenced to spending the rest of their career as an assistant board operator for the Oxygen network. There may be no worse combination than a sport that no one wants to watch, being broadcast by a color commentator who makes you want to swear off hearing for the rest of your life. Her performance in these Olympic games has revealed her as the female version of Billy Packer…and that’s not something I’d wish on anyone, male or female.

Sadly, I’m tied to Cynthia Potter in a couple of ways. First, as a former Olympian diver, she of course ended up at Indiana University, which used to run Olympic swimming diving like the mafia (and I mean that in a good way). I have multiple degrees from IU, so I can’t escape the connection. But even worse…she and I share the same birthday! According to her wikipedia page, she was born on August 27th.

Happy birthday, Cynthia. Please give yourself the birthday present of retirement this year.