I have been debating on if I wanted to start posting this idea, but then I noticed that we are doing fucking puppet shows on the site (By the way Sean……love them, very funny stuff, keep it up!), and that tells me that we are officially in “anything goes” territory on TMC.  So I am going to start sharing with you something that I have been doing for years now, and I don’t think I am the only one.

Every week, when I crack open my new Sports Illustrated I get to the “Faces in the Crowd” section, I go over the faces and blurbs, and I decide on which person I would most like to have sex with.  Take that crazy people who get all up in arms about the SI Swimsuit edition, you can get sexual with EVERY issue of SI!

So here are the ground rules:

1. I am only going to feature the girls.  Sorry, don’t swing like that.  If anyone would like to review the guys, feel free.
2. This needs to be taken in the spirit of fun that it is intended.  I never plan to act on any of this, so if one of these people comes up missing or having a burning sensation, don’t look my way.
3. SI has a very bad habit of putting in people who are WAY under the limit (18).  So in those cases, understand again that this is a hypothetical game and we at TMC will wait until the 18th birthday, just like everyone did with the Olsen Twins.

Finally, reason number 4,972 on why my wife is awesome.  When I broached this idea with her, and asked if she minded or if she thought it was in bad taste, her one comment was, “With that title, it makes it sound like you want to force a Blow Job on them”.  With that, let’s get to the ladies of the 8-18-08 issue.

Lauren - Growing up in Indiana, I know that those coming from Carmel, come from money.  So if it took a turn for the serious, and Lauren isn’t pushing a pre-nup, you could become a stay at home hubby.  That aside, playing lacrosse worries me, because if you cheated on her, there is a 100% chance that she would kick your ass!

Victoria - Come on SI, she is in 5th Grade!  Can’t go there.  But seriously, does she look like a 5th grader to you?  We need to check the N.J. Elementary Track and Field Association and see what their drug policy is!

Audrey - By far the cutest of the bunch, and being a rower, you know that she is going to have some serious guns!  Plus the last name is Coon.  Would have way to much fun with the guys with that one.

So the honor this week of the Faces in the Crowd I’d Like to F is…..Audrey Coon!