More fun from the greatest paper around, the (China) People’s Daily Online.

The three guys on the left? Americans Josh Inman, Bryan Volpenhein and Marcus McElhenney, bronze medalists in rowing. On the right? An Olympics “hostess”. In fact, the Daily’s title for a whole story on Beijing hostesses?

“Perfect hostesses outclass sexy cheerleaders”

We kid you not.

China picked 297 hostesses for the games (at least six hostesses for every medal ceremony), and the paper says they have to be between 18 and 24, 5′5″ and 5′8″ … and then it gets good. The hostesses must:

• Have a “ruddy and shiny complexion”
• “elastic skin” and …
• Have “a plump but not fat body”
• Faces need to “meet standards including the ratio between the width of the nose and the length of the face” and “width of the mouth and width between the pupils”, with eyes three-tenths the length of the face.

Catch your breath - it gets better.

“The women have been through thorough training at a kind of charm boot camp, learning to stand for hours in high-heels and honing the perfect smile exposing eight teeth by spending hours before a mirror with a chopstick between their teeth”

You know, Chris Henry is looking for work. Cut off a few inches, shine up his skin, add some plump, teach him how to use chopsticks …. I think we may be onto something.