Maury Povich was found sobbing on a bench in Central Park when he heard the news that Shawn Kemp was fleeing the states to play for the Italian team, Premiata Montegranaro. Povich was devastated to see Kemp leave, knowing he could have filled an entire week with Kemp paternity tests. Alas, Povich will have to continue to chase Wilt. The 38 year old forward will be making a triumphant return to the court and has high hopes from new coach Alessandro Finelli, who is happy to have a player that has, “made basketball history” (in the NBA).

It will be interesting to see what kind of shape Kemp will be come November, when he is expected to join the Italian team. My guess is… pear. I just don’t see how a 38 year old (former?) marijuana and cocaine aficionado can be expected to return to his glory days from the mid 90’s.

In the article posted August 16, Premiata Montegranaro posted a great article (I’m assuming; I don’t speak Italian) with an even better picture of Kemp. I hope this isn’t the Kemp the Italians are expecting.

If this comeback attempt is successful, I’ll be shocked. My guess is Kemp is out of child support money or the slopes are calling.