Surely you were glued to the tv/internet waiting for Jelena Jankovic’s Monday match at Wimbledon.

What? You weren’t? Seriously? You have no clue who she is? You were waxing your legs instead?

Umm … that’s a tad weird. But I digress. And so will you … I think.

Apparently Jelena thinks the world is watching her. Yes, she’s number two (though the women’s rankings, with the best player in the world, Justine Henin, now retired, are in major flux), but she’s never even made the finals of a grand slam. So, on a day when all the remaining men and women played, Jelena got pushed to court 18. And she got PISS-EE.

“They might as well have put me on Court 38,” Jankovic said. “I was almost playing in the parking lot. I almost need a helicopter to go to my court”.

And then she proved why she deserved a show court, winning just five games in a blowout loss to 60th-ranked Tamarine Tanusugarn. Keep in mind her comments came AFTER her loss.

Jelena, do you know Rafael Palmeiro? More on her foot-in-mouth disease after the jump.

Jankovic probably thinks her ranking gives her preference. Well, JJ, you probably need to do something before going all cranky butt on the Wimbledon court selection crew.

While Jankovic has made the last two grand-slam semifinals (and four in her career) she’s never made a final, and in two of the four semifinals she got blasted. Her argument for a better court might be more valid if not for the fact Monday is traditionally Wimbledon’s busiest day: All 16 remaining men and women play, leaving six courts to share the big matches. The celeb nams get preference: Safin, Federer, Venus, Serena, Nadal, etc.

Centre Court, Courts one and two hosted nine singles matches. Wanna guess how many combined grand slam titles were in that group?

Thirty-four. And that doesn’t count the Williams’ sisters’ doubles titles (they played the final match on Court two).

Suddenly your donut doesn’t look as tasty, Jelena. Perhaps if it was glazed.

You could make an argument her match should’ve replaced the Nicole Vaidisova/Anna Chatvetadze match on Court One. Perhaps you could argue the Wimbledon court selection committee should have been kinder to Jankovic, who asked for a later time to rest her bum knee.

You know what? Didn’t happen. So what should you do? Win against a player 58 slots below you in the rankings. Shut the critics up. Winning five games and then complaining you’re not showcased enough is like Pacman Jones not understanding why the Pope won’t meet with him.

Silliness.

Above all else, name me one person that came to Wimbledon wanting to see Jelena Jankovic? Anyone that says yes is likely either A) Serbian, B) A rare Jankovic diehard fan or C) Jelena’s family member.

Court 18 was not necessarily the assignment of death Jelena liked to make it out to be: Marcos Baghdatis (who, unlike Jelena, actually made a grand slam final) followed her against talented Spaniard Feliciano Lopez, and the most popular men’s doubles team in the world, the Bryan brothers, played match three.

Somehow none of them needed a helicopter to Court 18.

Serena Williams complained about her court two assignment (as well as Venus’s). Perhaps it was whining, but perhaps the court decision was a tad suspect since, well, the Williams’ sisters are the best damn thing on the women’s tour. And Serena can get away with that, Jelena: She’s got eight grand slam singles titles. You know what else? She won comfortably. As did Venus. And they came back a few hours later, same court, and won a doubles match.

It’s all pretty simple.

Complaining is not an awful thing - we all do it from time to time. But backing it up helps. And if Jelena keeps putting up grand slam clunkers like this, perhaps Wimbledon will take Jankovic’s advice and form a parking lot court just for her.