Monthly Archives: April 2008

Welcome to the Club

Congratulations, Adam “Pacman” Jones on your trade to the Cowboys!

You look thrilled to be joining America’s Team, and rightly so. You’ll be written into the history books alongside such luminaries as:
NFL and Dallas County Jail Hall of Famer Michael Irvin …

Leon “Butterfingers” Lett…

renowned crack aficionado Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson …

and of course Nate Newton … seen [...]

Long Shot

This Saturday, with the first pick of the 2008 NFL draft, the Miami Dolphins will select former Michigan offensive tackle Jake Long.  Yesterday ESPN reported that the Dolphins have already signed Long to a five-year, nearly $58 million deal, making him the highest paid OT in the NFL before he’s ever played a down of [...]

8 Reasons Why the NBA is BACK!

I have noticed this blog has a glaring omission from the sports world. Zero NBA chatter. So finally, amidst the NBA silence and on behalf professional basketball fans everywhere, let me take this moment to help everyone transition back to fan hood. I realize the days of Magic and Michael are long gone, but please, [...]

Stanley Cup - Night 13

Boston 0 - Montreal 5 (MON Wins series 4-3)
Carey Price rebounded better than I thought he would, but this game was more about the inevitable.  Boston played a hell of a series, and the fact that they made it this far is just shy of incredible.  Let’s not forget that they lost several heartbrakers along [...]

Monday Morning Hangover

I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter:
— How many pictures of Greg Oden drinking can there possibly be? (The Big Lead)
— AIFA (that’s third-tier Arena football, kids) football player jumps into the stands. With video! (Busted Coverage)
— Mark Mangino does not approve of being seen next to a big orange thing. (EDSBS)
— Joe Paterno talks [...]

Stanley Cup - Nights 10-12 Recap

Friday
New York Rangers 5 - New Jersey 3 (NYR Wins series 4-1)
I thought Brodeur had enough left to steal a game this series. Bottom line is the hall of famer was outplayed, sometimes badly, by Rangers’ netminder Henrik Lundqvist. The Rangers, meanwhile, got huge contributions from a no -name defense, their big time free [...]

Stanley Cup - Night 9

Boston 5 - Montreal 1 (Series 3-2 Mon)
I’m sticking with my gut, the Bs are definitely playing for pride at this point, but you’ve got to love the undermanned Bruins breaking one wide open in the 3rd period.  Getting 31 saves from your goaltender in an elimination game is also kind of nice.  Finally, I’m [...]

Tom Hicks in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Shitlist”

In January of 2007, when American investors Tom Hicks and George Gillett first emerged as the front-runners to assume ownership of Liverpool FC, I could hardly have been a more ardent supporter of the plan.  Following Roman Abramovich’s takeover of Chelsea FC and Malcolm Glazer’s acquisition of Manchester United, the face of English football changed [...]

Stanley Cup - Night 8

Pittsburgh 3 - Ottawa 1 (Pit wins series 4-0)
Gary Bettman smiled a little when he woke up this morning, as Pittsburgh’s win ensures Sidney Crosby will be playing in the second round for the first time in his career.  The fact that he’s bringing along a pretty good hockey team is a bonus for both [...]

Just get to the freaking point, Ocho Psycho

Look, Mr. Johnson:
We don’t care if you want a trade, and we’re glad you finally said it. But don’t waste our damn time going through this dog and pony show, crying at the Superbowl, crying at the Pro Bowl, crying to ESPN’s Brian Kenny (which we’ll show you in a second) and calling out the [...]

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