If you’ve ever been to or watched an Ohio State football or basketball game, you’ve heard the song we’ve hyperlinked, “Hang on Sloopy” … and the Buckeye band plays it again … and again … and  again … and again … until you’re about to puke. It’s the song with these complicated lyrics:

Hang on sloopy, sloopy hang on …

Hang on sloopy, sloopy hang on … 

Sloopy let your hair down, ooo

Let it hang down on me

Sloopy let your hair down girl,

Let it hang down on me, yeah

Clearly the Buckeye fans don’t need the stuff of Mozart to keep them entertained.

Problem is Ohio State — and really the state of Ohio — has this unhealthy obsession with this simple song. The website for official Ohio State merchandise and tickets? Hangonsloopy.com.

But if you think that’s a tad too much, consider the Ohio State legislature, which 23 years ago adopted “Sloopy” as the official state song. Read more about the ridiculous things in the resolution after the jump.

Here’s one part of House Concurrent Resolution no. 16 from 1985:

WHEREAS, Adoption of this resolution will not take too long, cost the state anything, or affect the quality of life in this state to any appreciable degree, and if we in the legislature just go ahead and pass the darn thing, we can get on with more important stuff

The Ohio State legislature: Wasting time on bogus crap before getting to the real issues before doing real work.
Oh, but there’s more. They included the lyrics in the resolution:

 WHEREAS, Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town, and everybody, yeah, tries to put my Sloopy down

And …

WHEREAS, Sloopy, I don’t care what your daddy do, ’cause you know, Sloopy girl, I’m in love with you; therefore be it Resolved, That we, the members of the 116th General Assembly of Ohio, in adopting this Resolution, name “Hang On Sloopy” as the official rock song of the State of Ohio; and be it further Resolved, That the Legislative Clerk of the House of Representatives transmit duly authenticated copies of this Resolution to the news media of Ohio.

But that’s not it …

WHEREAS, If fans of jazz, country-and-western, classical, Hawaiian and polka music think those styles also should be recognized by the state, then by golly, they can push their own resolution just like we’re doing

We could add more, but what could we say? You stay classy, Columbus.