“College Coaches Are No Different Than South American Freedom Fighters.”

 

An open letter to college coaches-

Dear Money Grubbing Ego-maniacal Scumbags:

I understand that coaching can be a brutal profession, but as Gregg Easterbrook pointed out, it can also be done by volunteers (unlike surgeons).  The only reason that your families collapse, your health fades and you sleep in your offices is because each of you are trying to keep up with the Joneses.

I find it confusing that your game plan takes a week to generate.  Seriously, what can you not prepare for in a 60 hour work week versus a 70 hour work week?  I understand that there is recruiting, practice, appearances, etc but come on.

How can some of you sleep at night?  Under what circumstance do you think it okay for you to take 2-4 million dollars a year?  Also, if you are already making 2 million a year, why jump ship to go somewhere else to make 4 million a year?  You are a college football coach after all.  I am sure your preferred footwear supplier gives you all the shorts, pants, shirts and shoes you need.  How many suits do you need? 

You fancy yourselves educators that are instilling discipline in young men.  Then act as if you are the one that has been wronged when your felons (student-athletes) arrests are not swept under the rug.  You also bring these “students” in through the proverbial admissions backdoor just to get them into school.

You do not honor your contracts.  You declare allegiance, then slink off in the middle of the night like the Baltimore/Indianapolis Colts.  Under what circumstance is this acceptable?  If you are truly an educator of discipline, character, morals and ethics, then what is this teaching your students?

Dear coaches, salary reform is needed.  Quit being assholes.

Sincerely,

LWN

Marion County’s Self Proclaimed #1 Handicapper! 

                                                                                                                                                             

Why do college coaches jump ship so much?  

1. Ego
2. Money
3. Facilities/ Cooperative administrators
4. Program Prestige

 

Ego is the key factor, how else can you explain the craziness and underhanded orchestrated lies that enter these coaches minds?  Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban and Steve Spurrier are the three that come to mind immediately with regard to ego.  All three left college to prove that they were the guy who could hack it in the NFL.  All three left because they couldn’t win in the NFL, but also because it’s much harder to boss around NFL players in a league with parity than 18-22 year olds playing presumably for the love of the game.

Add in the unfair advantages each of these coaches have at the college level with regard to recruiting and game scheduling and it is clear that these three received major ego contusions in the No Fun League.

Money is also something to be considered, but its obviously not number 1.  Like I said above, what is the difference between some millions and some more millions?  Probably not that much if you are a college coach.  We are not talking about Manhattan socialites that live on the Upper West side.  We are discussing middle aged dudes with families that live mainly in podunk college towns.  Is that extra half mil a year going to be a deal breaker when you can buy a 30,000 square foot house for $750K?

Facilities are a buzzword like no other in the college world.  Coaches will bail for the right facilities in conjunction with a more cooperative administration 9/10 times.  Think about it in terms of your job.  If you work somewhere on a shoe string budget, but a job opens up in the same field with a cooler boss, bigger office, more subordinates and a 50% salary increase you go for it.  This is why Rich Rodriguez, Paul Johnson, Houston Nutt and Jerry Kill jumped ship.  (Nutt is sort of the exception here with regard to facilities, but Ole Miss will treat him 10 times better than Arkansas did).

Program prestige is a tricky, tricky scenario in college football today.  Gone are the days of 15 teams having a realistic shot at a national title.  The explosion of the spread offense, the availability of hiring big name coaches as less established schools, and the fiscally irresponsible spending of athletic departments has ushered in an age when we consider that Boise State could have beaten anyone last season.  Kids have a short attention span.  Do they care that Nebraska was good in the 1990s?  These incoming Freshman were four years old the last time Nebraska won a National Championship.

No, they care that each locker are the University of Oregon has an X-box 360.  They care if they can start at their desired skill positions early in their college careers at a WAC, MAC, C-USA, or bottom tier BCS school.  They want to play on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday so that they can be on television. 

Program prestige is only relevant to Rich Rodriguez this year in conjunction with facilities.  Rumors are he left West Virginia partially because the university did not meet his “demands.”  I guess you can throw in Mike Sherman too.  He might be the only one alive that thinks Texas A&M is still relevant in the college football landscape. 

**A side note to fan-bases**

Arkansas, Texas A&M, SMU and Nebraska-

You all seem to have a very high opinion of yourselves, Nebraska especially.  The message boards were full of group-thinking morons linking their job to Pete Carroll, Bill Belichick, and a host of other NFL coaches before settling on Pellini.

Arkansas-  You ran out an overachieving coach, going as far as to request his cell phone records through the Freedom of Information Act. 

SMU-  You have not won anything since you cheated only slightly more than…….

 

Texas A&M-  I guess your coaching staff was too busy buying Reggie McNeal futures to realize a guy who played at SOUTHLAKE CARROLL (Chase Daniel) was going to be available.

HEADLINES

1.  Rumors Swirl Saying Nick Saban is a Carpet-Bagger

This has to be simple speculation.  HAS TO.  Terry Bowden has to be the guy at West Virginia, right?

2.  Crimi’Noles Destroy Whatever Academic Credibility FSU Still Had

Media reports say that as many as 20 Florida State football players will be ruled academically ineligible for cheating on one of these new-fangled internet deally tests.  Is this surprising?  Would you expect anything else from a school that offers circus instruction classes? 

3.  Heisman Winner Tebow Named AP Player of the Year

Colt Brennan is upset because he feels his streak of 3+ years of not sexually assaulting women should have been considered.  June Jones is still convinced Tebow is a “system guy.”

4.  The first of 32 bowls begins Tomorrow!

Let’s ring in the bowl season.  Below I will take the options in the non-BCS pre Christmas Bowls

LET’S REVIEW

I went 3-3 my last week of picks.  But I did peg Mizzou and Oregon State (which seems like a long time ago).

PICKS

1.  New Orleans Bowl

Memphis +3 vs Florida Atlantic 

Can you really say with a straight face that you would chose Florida Atlantic in this game?  I can’t.  FAU tries to get the SunBelt some love, but they can’t finish.

Memphis 32 - FAU 28

2.  New Mexico Bowl

Nevada +3 vs New Mexico

Interesting.  The Lobos get a home game the way Boise State used to.  Nevada will employ that pistol offense, then run roughshod over New Mexico screaming “WHO SHOT YA!”

Nevada 38 - New Mexico 20

3.  AND NOW FOR MY

Las Vegas Bowl

UCLA vs BYU -6

I like the Cougars in this one.  The only way coach-less UCLA wins this one is if all the Mormons get overwhelmed by the bright lights of Sin City.

BYU 28 - UCLA 10

4.  Sheraton Hawaii Bowl

Boise State -11 vs East Carolina

Playing the percentages ECU usually always covers, but this is Boise State right?  I think ECU is at least as good as Washington who the Broncos lost to this year.  This will be one of those wild, crazy high scoring contests.  Boise prevails on some late heroics.

BSU 52 - ECU 48