We’re still waiting on Tony Romo to work his way through all women up to and including the Olsen twins (we’re looking at you, Lance). Until then, he’s doing a pretty damn good job working through the NFC teams.

4 PM GAME RECAPS

DALLAS 31, NEW YORK GIANTS 20: Romo throws four touchdowns, two to T.O., and suddenly the race for the NFC East is over: Dallas has the sweep of Giants, a win at Philadelphia and a 2-game lead on everyone (really three games with the tie-breaker on NYG). And no matter how many times Eli Manning beats the Dolphins, the 49ers, the Falcons and Jets, it seems he’ll never win a big game.

CHICAGO 17, OAKLAND 6: Rex Grossman won this game. REX GROSSMAN WAS THE HERO! I played Oakland’s D in my fantasy league, and the minute Rex came in, I thought big points. Oh how wrong I was. Rexy threw two late scores to beat the amazingly inept scoring machine that is the Raiders. At 4-5, Chicago is just barely enough alive for those Bears fans to continue being REALLY annoying.

CINCINNATI 21, BALTIMORE 7: As bad as the Bengals are, they should’ve won this game by 40. Seriously. The Ravens are freaking terrible: Cincinnati couldn’t score a touchdown (yes, that 21 score came on seven Shayne Graham field goals) and Baltimore turned the ball over SIX(!!!!) times! (if your remember, the Ravens turned it over six times in an opening-game loss at Cincinnati). Brian Billick’s gonna lose his job … and so should Marvin Lewis. But the Bengals now have the tie-breaker in the toilet bowl playoffs.

ARIZONA 31, DETROIT 21: Apparently Jesus loved Kurt Warner today more than Jon Kitna. Three TDs, just one pick and 259 yards for Warner; 294, two scores and two picks for Kitna. Cards move to 4-5, just a shade behind the amazingly mediocre Seattle Seahawks. What does Kurt say now? You know the answer: “Thank you Jesuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!!!!”. These are just too easy.