Well, we’d always suspected something was up with Tom Brady’s patriotism. Turns out we were right! This “Patriots” thing is all a front.

News broke late yesterday that Brady’s pincushion, supermodel Gisele Bundchen, has REFUSED to be paid with United States dollars. In fact, in a recent negotiation with Procter and Gamble, we learned that:

When Bundchen, 27, signed a contract in August to represent Pantene hair products for Cincinnati-based Procter & Gamble Co., she demanded payment in euros, according to Veja, Brazil’s biggest weekly magazine. She’ll also get euros for the deal she reached last October with Dolce & Gabbana SpA in Milan to promote the Italian designer’s new fragrance, The One, Veja reported. Bundchen earned $33 million in the year through June, Forbes reported in July.

What the hell is this? Demanding payment in euros from a shampoo company? What’s next…paying for your Big Mac with rubles? Shoving Canadian loonies into a Coke machine? I suspect this is some sort of strange European socialist plot — and Brady is obviously in on everything. Hell, he’s probably out there in the media, providing her cover for this sick anti-American plot.

This despicable attitude runs through the whole family:

“Contracts starting now are more attractive in euros because we don’t know what will happen to the dollar,” Patricia Bundchen, the model’s twin sister and manager in Brazil, said in a telephone interview in September from Sao Paulo. She declined to discuss details of the arrangements last week.

There, you see? Gisele hates America. Patricia hates America. And Tom Brady hates America.