An article in yesterday’s Palm Peach Post tells the story of Miami Dolphins linebacker (and former University of Florida Gator) Channing Crowder and his reaction to the ‘Fins trip across the pond to London for the NFL’s first regular season game in Europe.  Its a generic story with no news worthy content, but with the Dolphins winless it might be the only decent press they get all year. Then Crowder opened his mouth. The result? Journalistic gold.

Below are excerpts from Crowder’s interview:

“I couldn’t find London on a map if they didn’t have the names of the countries,” Crowder said. “I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. 

If the names of places are not on a map is it really a map to begin with or is it pangea? And just to clarify since Italy and England are both European countries it is of course perfectly acceptable to substitute the geography of one for another. Its all the same to us Westerners, right Canada?

“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”

You know a guy named London? Ok cool. This is relevant to your ignorance on world geography and race how?  Channing, just as an FYI the semantics of the name of an American born in Ohio has nothing to do with a European city. Just throwing that one out there.

“When reminded Dolphins practice squad receiver and NFL Europe veteran Marvin Allen is from London, Crowder’s standup routine didn’t miss a beat: ‘He’s from London?’ Crowder said. ‘I knew he was from over there because he talks funny. I was surprised (when they met) because - I don’t want to say he didn’t look the part because that’s a stereotype - but he didn’t look the part. I heard him talk, and I thought he had a recorder and was just mouthing.’

So Crowder clearly understands what a sterotype is, knows it is wrong, and yet spends the better part of the interview blatently identifying and creating them. Does he understand what a hypocrite is?

University of Florida: where football is king and class is clearly optional.