After a travel day last weekend, the Sunday Morning 3^rd Down Back is coming at you with a vengeance. I feel as giddy as Kevin Faulk did last Monday when Laurence Maroney failed his “game-time decision” test.

 For the most part, college football teams are now halfway through their respective seasons. So what have we learned up to now? Well, we know that LSU is the clear #1 team in the land. We know that being ranked in the top 10 kind of sucks. And we know that… well, that might really be all we know. Let’s put it this way – if you told me at the start of the season that the top 3 teams in the ever-improving Big East would be a combined 16-0, I wouldn’t be shocked at all. If you told me those teams would be Cincinnati-South Florida-UConn instead of West Virginia-Rutgers-Louisville, I’d let you smack me over the head with a frying pan. Yes, welcome to “Bizarro World,” college pigskin style.

Let us deviate from our usual form of handing out awards and instead hand out the SM3DB’s midterm grades for the BCS conferences, in order of their performances thus far. Put your pencils down and fork over them blue books, please…

Pac 10 = A-

Well, well, well … looks like USC aren’t world-beaters after all. Unless that world is at USC, as the Trojans tried to beat themselves for two weeks in a row, finally completing the task with an inexcusable loss at home to Stanford on Saturday. But that doesn’t detract from the Pac 10 at all – in fact, with the bottom of the conference proving it can give the most top-heavy conference in the country some fits, the Pac 10 has earned its spot as the only team in the A-range thus far in the season.

I was adamant before in insisting that the Cal-Oregon game was the de facto Pac 10 championship, and it appears that might be the case thanks to USC’s slip up at home. The Trojans still have road games against both those teams, and if the Golden Bears can hold serve they’ll be the ones taking on LSU in the national championship game. While it’s a long road to hoe in the Pac 10 this year, Cal’s remaining big tests are USC in Hippieland and UCLA and Arizona State on the road, which is a tough yet doable assignment.

When the Trojans have their shtuff together and their heads on straight, they are still one of the top three teams in the country, and Oregon is also a legitimate top 10 squad. Then there’s ‘Zona State, who is an untested 6-0, but has already finished half of its Pac 10 road slate unscathed with a beatdown of the Fighting Harbaughs (obviously Pete Carroll wasn’t taking notes) and a squeaker over Washington State. And I can’t even try to explain what the hell is going on at UCLA, but count on the Bruins ruining someone’s parade by the end of the season.

Aside from having easily the strongest top-quartet of any conference, the Pac 10 also gets props for shunning the four-game non-conference schedule in favor of playing every team in the conference and not having a championship game. I think if it had a catchy slogan, the Pac 10 would gain the elusive national attention it so richly deserves, so I’ll suggest the following:

“The Pac 10 … We’re Worth Staying Up For!” or…

“The Pac 10 … We’re Not Just For Dan Fouts and Tim Brandt Anymore!”

Fearless predictions? Cal to the national championship game, Oregon to the Rose Bowl, and Pete Carroll straight to hell!

SEC = B+

Other than LSU, the SEC is a complete crapshoot. The schedule in the SEC East from here on out is a Hannibal Lector-style cannibal buffet, and the winner might just end up at 5-3 in conference… bust out the abacus for the tiebreakers, please. Forgive me for not believing in the Head Ball Coach, but South Carolina’s tendency to keep teams in the game will burn them eventually… and probably more than once with the schedule they face.

The grade might be higher, but eight teams – EIGHT TEAMS – already have two losses. Essentially you can group the SEC’s top teams in three silos:

1) The Clear-cut favorite: LSU

2) The Surprises that should/will come down to earth: Kentucky, South Carolina

3) The armor-chinked powers that still have a chance: Tennessee, Florida, Georgia, Auburn

4) And, just for fun, the “Thanks for playing… come back next year” gang: Alabama, Arkansas

Fearless predictions? Florida loses one more game (still have to play Kentucky and South Carolina on the road and Georgia in the World’s Largest Outdoor Excuse to Go Get Drunk in Jacksonville), Georgia stumbles once more despite having the easiest road from here on out in the East, paving the way for Tennessee to sneak in and take the East for the honor to be thumped by the Bayou Bengals in the Verne Lundquist SEC Championship Game, Presented by Sonic.

Big East = C+

The Big East was the toughest grade to pass out, as it’s been a bit of, well, it’s been a clusterf*&k. I think South Florida and West Virginia are the real deals, and, in looking back, I’m still stunned that West Virginia fell to the Bulls last weekend. But Jimmy Leavitt’s got Tampa thinking about football on Saturdays (or, in the case against WVa, Friday night) and, more importantly, a program that is starting to pull in better talent than in the past. Rutgers was supposed to follow last year’s improbable run with another solid run from Ray Rice, Mike Teel & Co., but two straight losses are raising question marks in Piscataway. Blame Louisville for bringing the grade down … if they had any semblance of a defense they’d be undefeated and the grade could be as high as a B.

The Scarlet Knights’ latest loss came at the hands of the team that could be this year’s Rutgers – your Cincinnati Bearcats. I shit you not folks, the Cincy at South Florida game on Nov. 3^rd could determine Big east supremacy. Like Cincy, UConn is also sitting at 6-0, but upon further review, the logical school to next fall on their schedule is St. Mary’s of the Woods. But they get a road challenge at Virginia next week, so perhaps there could be a breeze of legitimacy blowing onto their resume soon. Speaking of legitimacy, poor Brian Brohm is sentenced to watching one of the country’s worst defenses, which is both good and bad for his Heisman hopes. The bad news? The Cards’ D is so bad that they might finish 7-5, and that’s a no-no for Heisman hopefuls these days. The good news? Louisville will be behind so often that Brohm will have an excuse for throwing 60 times a game. No, seriously, it might happen EVERY GAME.

Fearless prediction? While I still believe West Virginia is the most talented team in the conference, when it’s all said and done I see South Florida coming out on top. But I’d like to see more of Cincy … these Bearcats seem intriguing they way they’ve bowled through the competition this far.

Big 12 = C

“This ain’t intramurals, brother!” Well Coach Hawkins, while the North seems to be providing the conference with a little more depth than expected, it’s still closer to amateur hour than you think, bro. We were supposed to take Texas seriously as a national power, but there the Longhorns sit at 0-2 in conference after dropping the Red River Shootout to Oklahoma (and can someone tell me when it became known only as the “Red River Rivalry”? Are we really becoming that PC these days?). That made the Big 12 South the Sooners to lose, as you can’t honestly tell me you expect Texas A&M and Texas Tech to do anything but gather their typically bloated 9-3/8-4 records by November.

And, for as much crap I’ve given the Big 12 North, it is actually has two of the more interesting teams in the conference in Kansas and Missouri. Believe it or not, the Jayhawks are blowing people out with regularity and passed their first real test Saturday with a solid win over K-State in Manhattan. Look at their schedule from here on out and tell me if you don’t think there’s a chance that they are 10-1 heading into their finale against Mizzou – which is also still undefeated at 5-0 after confirming to the nation what a fraud Nebraska football really is these days Saturday in Columbia.

Fearless predictions? Mizzou’s schedule gets exponentially harder from here on out, leading me to believe Kansas will get the meeting against Oklahoma that the schedule makers allowed them to dodge in the regular season. Mark Mangino eats Bob Stoops for his pregame meal, and Kansas does the unthinkable, setting up a South-Florida v. Kansas match-up in the Orange Bowl. Good times for all!

Big 10 = C

Welcome to mediocrity, ladies and gentlemen! We already know about the early season travails of the Michigan Wolverines, but then supposed contender Penn State dropped its first two conference games. Michigan State followed its close call at Wisconsin by choking at home against Northwestern, while the Badgers proved why they were possibly the most overrated #5 team in the history of college football by losing at Champaign – which is where the story gets interesting. Dare I say it, but Year 3 of the “Ron Zook Plan” is looking mighty intriguing, and a lot of people are buying in. However, the Illini will only go as far as QB Juice Williams can take them, which is a risky proposition indeed.

Despite everyone suffering from “Buckeye Fatigue” over the last few years Ohio State has again proven itself as the class of the conference, which is kind of like being the smartest kid at, well, Ohio State! With that being said, this season just reeks of a ’95 Northwestern-esque run to glory, and the Illini might be the team that fits the bill, as I don’t think anyone believes that Ohio State is truly good enough to run the table. And, just to fuel my fantasies, in a conference that is ripe with defenses that just love to give up big plays, my beloved Indiana Hoosiers have two of the best playmakers in QB Kellen “Antwaan with an Arm” Lewis and WR James Hardy. They’re 2-1 in conference … 5-1 overall … playing inspired football … just sayin’, folks. With one more win they’ll at least qualify for the feel-good story of the year, as they’ll become bowl-eligible for the first time in 14 years and be able to “Play 13” for the late Terry Hoeppner.

Fearless prediction? Ohio State beats Illinois, but Lloyd Carr goes out on top (if that makes any sense this season) by beating the Buckeyes in Ann Arbor. Both finish at 7-1 in conference, thus sending Illinois to the Rose Bowl thanks to the greatest tiebreaker in all of sports – the “Well, it’s been the longest since you’ve been to the Rose Bowl, so congratulations, you’re going to Pasadena!” tiebreaker. Who needs that abacus, baby!

ACC = D+

It’s hard to say if Boston College is overrated, as the early half of the schedule has let the Eagles warm up for the tougher second half of the slate that includes road games at the three upper-echelon teams in the conference: Virginia Tech, Clemson, and Maryland… that is if you can include Clemson in that tier anymore after laying eggs in their last two games at Georgia Tech and at home against Virginia Tech. The conference is just chock full of schizophrenic teams that are chock full of decent wins and head-scratching losses:

Virginia – The Fightin’ Grohs sit atop the Coastal Division at 3-0, but are an untested 5-1 and barely beat  Middle Tenn. State this weekend. Dare I say, we might find out what they are made of next weekend when they host… Connecticut? Oy vey.

Virginia Tech – Close wins that should have been blowouts (UNC, E. Carolina) and a complete failure in their marquee match-up at LSU, but then they go on the road and get back to Beamer Ball in beating Clemson.

Miami and Florida State – Still living off their reputations of the past two decades, they aren’t even in the running for the second-best teams in the state of Florida.

Wake Forest – If you lose at home to Nebraska this season, you can’t be taken seriously. Sorry.

Bottom line is this – there’s no team in this conference that you fear right now. None. And that won’t change unless BC can show something against real competition or Va. Tech can run the table – and impressively at that. I’ll be at the Thursday night showdown between those two in two weeks, so I look forward to seeing this theory proved in person.

Fearless prediction? Doesn’t matter who wins that game, they’ll rematch in the ACC Championship Game, with “Beamer Ball” winning out in the end.