Like you didn’t see this one coming.

Despite birds crapping on fans and in their beers, the Cincinnati Bengals organization will not be shooting any pigeons at Paul Brown Stadium this season. After complaints from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (and lack of support from city mayor Mark Mallory) the team withdrew it’s request to kill the lil’ bastards. It came a day after city manager Milton Dohoney actually ok’d the shooting, but only as a last resort.

Amazingly, the city’s municipal code would allow this, according to The Cincinnati Enquirer:

“Cincinnati’s municipal code, Sec. 701-15, says no person shall kill, wound, maim or injure any bird. But that doesn’t apply to any city employee or officer acting in accordance with another statute, Sec. 701-17, which says when birds and animals create a nuisance, the city manager is authorized “to use all necessary means” to destroy the nuisance-creators.”

Don’t worry, the Bengals say: Had they done this, the dead birds would be put into a black plastic bag and put into the Paul Brown Stadium trash compacter.

Because, of course, we don’t just need bird crap, we need crap-sized pieces of birds.

The issue came up days before the Bengals nationally-televised Monday Night Football game against the New England Patriots. The Bengals will now try noise makers, strobe lights, fake owls, nettings, and prickly coverings for horizontal surfaces.

And possibly a smarter PR plan than “Hey, let’s get out Jeb’s rifle and shoot ‘dem ‘durn winged thingies!”