Wait until you see these OH-FOURS play! The Hammer is back with another edition of college football’s worst.

Here at TMC we strive to educate our readers on the finer points of sports. Whether its an explanation of the perfectly executed triangle offense, the intricacies of the nickel defense, or breaking down the important match-ups, TMC always provides unmatched expertise. Incredibly, there are some details that go unnoticed among college football’s elite. Fortunately for TMC readers it is my mission to make sure you don’t miss the worst in college football. No need to thank me, it’s a service I am willing to provide to our loyal readers, because I’m sure that I’m not the only one tired of watching James Laur-in-ai-tis (thank you Brent Musberger, everyone drink!) treat Northwestern like his personal pinata.

Last week’s inaugural “game they shouldn’t play” didn’t disappoint. In fact, I just got word that ESPN Classic will be replying San Jose State’s thrilling 23-20 victory over Utah State on Thursday at 3:00 AM, so be sure to set your Tivo. For those of you not awake in the early morning hours, just remember the Women’s World Cup airs at the same time, so you might have some difficult choices to make. The Aggies were so fired up in front of 13,685 crazed fans that they treated their homecoming crowd to quite the passing clinic. Unfortunately for those who actually witnessed this pathetic excuse for a college football game, the aerial display was put on by San Jose State’s Adam Tafralis, who connected on 35/48 passes for 426 yards and three touchdowns. Its like his XBOX was set on easy and he was playing against the Atlanta Falcons. Meanwhile, Utah State continued to show their true offensive colors by passing for just 78 yards. It was a football game that featured 18 penalties, four turnovers, and Utah State extending their losing streak (dating back to last season) to ten games. A true thing of beauty.

As usual, many teams made their best effort to be included in this week’s “game they shouldn’t play.” Unfortunately, two MAC schools, Toledo and Western Michigan, both got their first wins last week, avoiding an 0-4 match-up this week. Toledo beat an absolutely baffling Iowa State team (bring back Seneca Wallace!) and Western Michigan let the mighty Blue Devils of Central Connecticut State (who might only be able to beat the other more famous namesake) score 14 points in Kalamazoo. What has happened to the MAC? In 2003 Miami Ohio was the toast of College Football with a 13-1 record and a bowl victory over an up an coming Louisville team. The league was competitive and scaring off high-major opponents with their solid play. As it stands four weeks into the season, one team in the MAC is above .500. Let me say that again. In what used to be a competitive “mid-major” conference currently only one of its 13 teams (including Temple? When did they join the MAC, and who thought it could possibly be a good idea to let college football’s urinal into their league?) has a winning record, Bowling Green (2-1) who has played once less game then everyone else.

Fortunately one game did catch my eye as a battle of the win-less, my Game They Shouldn’t Play for week 5:

Florida International at Middle Tennessee

What we know: The University Florida Men’s Basketball team ,who won back-to-back National Championships, dubbed their 2004 recruiting class (Joakim Noah, Corey Brewer, Al Horford and Taurean Green) as the ‘o4s as a result of their incredible success and well the year they started college. Middle Tennessee and Florida International are the OH AND FOURS as in both teams are 0-4 and for that they should be commended. Why reserve the the quality nicknames for just good teams?

The Teams: Florida International is best known for a little incident with the Miami Hurricanes on October 14, 2006 which involved a football game that broke out during a fight. Let this refresh your memory of the disgraceful scene. What they should be known for (now that Duke has broken free) is the nice little 16 game losing streak they are currently working on. Florida International is getting out scored by an average of 35 points a game through their first four loses (at Penn State, Maryland, at Miami, at Kansas) while managing to score just two touchdowns (one of which was in garbage time down 20 to Miami).

Middle Tennessee, located in beautiful Murfreesboro, has at least found a way to get into the end zone, including putting up 42 points on then #8 Louisville. Hey, it was impressive at the time. Last week they actually held a lead into the 4th quarter, before falling to Western Kentucky by just 3 points. Middle Tennessee has held their own against every team they have played (losing by 13, 16, and the previously mentioned 3) except for the 44-0 thrashing by LSU, which in my book is completely acceptable. This at least makes them “competitive”, and remember: According to San Jose State Coach Dick Tomey, being competitive is half the battle — and his team is no longer win-less! Coincidence? You be the judge.

The Match-up: Come with me on a trip down memory lane. It’s December 3, 2005 and our two protagonists meet in a 35-31 Florida International victory. That’s right, Florida International’s last victory came against none other than MTSU. Now its August 31, 2006 and our good friends at Florida Int (a fitting abbreviation) and Middle Tenn play in what would have been the game they shouldn’t play of the year. Middle Tennessee won a 7-6 scorcher that was highlighted by 17 punts, no second half scoring, neither team generating more than 100 yards rushing or more than 250 yards of total offense and the game was decided by a missed extra point. Instant classic.

Prediction: This is is Florida International’s best chance to stop the bleeding. Some members of their squad have actually tasted victory over Middle Tennessee and they were so close last year. Is this the year? I just can’t see it happening in Murfreesboro. The Blue Raiders win the battle of of the OH-FOURS. Enjoy the game!

Middle Tennessee - 35

Florida International - 6